I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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