Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
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I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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