i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
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He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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