why do cheetos always look like penises
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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