You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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