I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize