I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize