im about as happy as oj after his trial
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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