There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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