oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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