I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am mentally ready for anal.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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