I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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