It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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