she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize