somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize