Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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