im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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