You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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