yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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