She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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