thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize