I wanna bring you to show and tell
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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