Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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