I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize