Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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