The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize