Michael Bay diarrhea
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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