yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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