I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize