but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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