I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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