saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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