Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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