Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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