She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize