real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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