took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize