how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
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I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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