your room smells of hookers.
And success
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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