A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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