i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
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you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
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She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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