Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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