you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize