i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize