I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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