i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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