I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
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i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
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I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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