We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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