I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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