I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize